No shame

Kawan-kawan melayu saya dekat facebook ada dah jadi mcm omputih dah. Dekat facebook post gambar pegi oversea pakai bikini. Saya pun tak la baik sangat, tapi ada certain benda kalau nak buat, buat lah sebab sendiri tanggung dosa, tapi rasanya tak perlu lah nak bagitahu semua orang. Kalau tak rasa bersalah buat pun, at least ada la sifat malu skit. 

Kalau tak suka pandangan orang kolot macam saya, too bad laa sebab kita orang melayu, orang islam and malaysian. 

Kalau tak kisah pandangan orang ramai, itu juga too bad, sebab kita rasa kita betul.

XOXO.

Wide Awake

I'm wide awakeYeah, I was in the darkI was falling hardWith an open heart
I'm wide awakeHow did I read the stars so wrong?
I'm wide awakeAnd now it's clear to meThat everything you seeAin't always what it seems
I'm wide awakeYeah, I was dreaming for so long
I wish I knew thenWhat I know nowWouldn't dive inWouldn't bow downGravity hurtsYou made it so sweetTill I woke up onOn the concrete
[Chorus]Falling from cloud 9Crashing from the highI'm letting go tonight(Yeah I'm) Falling from cloud 9
I'm wide awakeNot losing any sleepI picked up every pieceAnd landed on my feet
I'm wide awakeNeed nothing to complete myself 
I'm wide awakeYeah, I am born againOutta the lion's denI don't have to pretendAnd it's too lateThe story's over now, the end
I wish I knew thenWhat I know nowWouldn't dive inWouldn't bow downGravity hurtsYou made it so sweetTill I woke up onOn the concrete
Falling from cloud 9Crashing from the highI'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting go)I'm Falling from cloud 9
Thunder rumblingCastles crumblingI am trying to hold onGod knows that I triedSeeing the bright sideBut I'm not blind anymore...

I am not back.

Hello my long abandoned blog...

It is 1.57pm, Wednesday today. 

Almost Lover by Fine Frenzy is a song that is close to my heart.

This weekend, i think i miss the thought of you. 

How are you?

Post Secret

I am doubtful that i will get a bonus this year. 

And my fear of that when it actually happen is my loyalty to the place changes. 

I know myself too well that i know it will upset me.

Never that girl

I was never that girl...


1. Who dreams of the fairy tail ending i.e find their prince charming. get married. learn to cook every dishes there is. have kids. retired from work. stay at home.and be a desperate housewife(this is too extreme).


2. Who just wants a job that pays i.e have something to call work.get paid.NEVER.


3. Who wants to be the person everybody loves. Not that i don't like being the lovable person but i'm fine being the rebellious daughter, the inpatient employee etc... 

Abnormal

It irritates me when someone is constantly talking about the need to be in a relationship or constantly looking for someone to want to be in a relationship.


It just sounds a little desperate.


Or maybe i'm just not normal.


XOX.

One of the boys

My new place is overwhelming-in a positive way. I'll elaborate when i have the time to write about it, not that i've been extremely busy these days, but i just don't feel like clinging to the internet.

Anyways....i wanted to tell you about my new working environment. I am surrounded by boys.guys (you know what i mean). On my right and left is a guy, and also the one in front of me. There is another female lawyer, but we hardly talk or stuff, probably because we're in different department and the age different (a bit,erm,she's not that old). So it's like, i come to the office and the first 'good morning' greet is from a guy. I go out to lunch with them, and of course i am the only girl in the group of 4 boys. In the evening, when we stayed back at the office, it's still me and them. And then my night ends with 'bye guys!'. Yeahh..

As time goes on, i find them pretty funny. Guys jokes and their interaction which other are kindda funny, but one thing for sure, they are drama free. Just what i need huh - a drama free place. 

Okay, tired. ill write again another time.

= ))

Awkward Monday.

Yesterday was my first day at my new work place. So i've been to a series of new workplace before, but it wasn't as awkward as this. When i was in the AG chambers, i reported duty with a couple of friends i already knew, and when i was in NKPT, i already knew a new lawyer was coming in the same day as me and we stayed together in the same room for a few days..so i basically i had people i can talk to. This time is a contrast. It was a Monday (i know right, the whole monday blues thing) and i came in alone. As the rest of the lawyers are placed in a certain area, i was kindda isolated in a room (temporary), because there wasn't enough place for me there until one for them leaves (soon).  So yeah, nobody to talk to! And i know, it's a normal thing that on the first day at work and probably on the first week, you won't have any work. But i'll never get used to it! I feel kindda guilty that everyone is sorta running around and even my boss, and i'm sitting at my place literally doing nothing. Rasa mcm makan gaji buta. Kalau secretary bagi kerja pon skang rela buat so i can feel a bit useful around here. Just need some petient i guess to get use to the enviroment. Umm, but i adapted to NKPT quite fast, a week over and i was joking around and having breakfast with the staff. Oh well, maybe because it's a small firm. This time around a bit different. Vast different. It also calls for a change. I can't complaint about too many things and gotta have more patient (can't believe i actually said that!), because i want to learn and get as much experience as i can. This place looks like the one i can get that, i have a good and nice boss (so far) who seems like he's willing to teach me, the environment looks friendly and merrier, and the other lawyers seems okay too (so far), and the pay is much better here. So i want to try and make the best of it, and enjoy my stay.  But i still have reservations. I don't want to assume too many things and have all this perfect imaginary of how i thought things are suppose to be. They say it's better to prepare for the worse then to have high hopes and later get crushed. Everything is still to soon to tell.  I hope awkward moment pass by soon. I wanna feel like im working again, because i do love working and my work, and that has been awhile since i last felt that way. I don't know bout you people, but i enjoyed my life most when i'm in the office. Beside working, you get to know people and subsequently they become your friend, and you just have so much fun working that you don't even want to go home. Hahaha. I know. I'm weird.  Okay. Tired. Bye! p/s My office uses iMac. I had trouble find the internet explorer/chrome and all other application. Kesian. On the second day, i didn't know how to even turn the damn computer on that i had to ask for help from my boss. I know. Pathetic.

Amazing Invention!

This is an Artificial Crab Stick.

It is so good and genius, because you can eat it in so many ways or put it in any of your menu, and it will still taste do damn good. It is better than chicken (real chicken!) and it only cost about RM4.00++ per pack which has about 24 sticks. Cheap but Good Food!

I like it in my ....

Sushi!

I always order sushi with crab stick at the sushi restaurant!

Sandwich!

I like it with a white bread, salad and cheese, and then it's ready to go!

Deep Fried!

Most of the time, i don't even dip it in the flour mix. I just fried it and dip it with a chili sauce afterwards! Amazing!

Fried Rice with Crab sticks!

Deli!

Sometimes my mum put in her vegetable dishes and soups. 

Sooo Good! 

Who invented this genius ingredient!

p/s Hungry.....

Finally & Officially

27012012


Some of those i mentioned in my speech....
A)

B)

C)

XOX.

The best at what i do!

I am the worse financial manager ever! If there is ever such award, i think i would mostly deserve it.

Here's why..

1. I love to shop 

What the surprise with this one right, because ever girl does. No guilt with this one.

2. I make excuse so i can buy.

I realize this habit of mine recently. Even though i don't need a particular item, but since i saw it's on sale and it's nice (bargain), i will have this idea like 'you know what, since it's on sale i could buy this for my mother since i already have a watch' or 'it's okay to buy this, sooner or later i might need it'.

3.I don't give a damn if i don't have money

Even in critical condition where i know i don't have that budget to go and buy things i don't need, i will still find some way to do it. If i don't buy things, i'll spurge on a starbucks and some some costly restaurants and cafe.  

I just don't know when to stop!

Oh ya, when i'm worried i will spend without guilt! Like right now, im kindda nervous for my Long Call tomorrow, im restless and i feel like i have so much to do (which i don't know what i have do anyways), so i decided to go to Starbucks. Another excuse huh.

Off.

XOX.

p/s is getting married this nervous too?

Post Wedding

This is a continuation of my previous post, where the make-up gone bad. Remember after my face got painted, i rushed to the toilet with my friend Ainn?

I know i said something, well, maybe a lot of things when i was shocked at how i looked, but apparently according to Ainn, i sounded 'very dramatic' and turns out to be funny.

Ainn said, i was like 'no no no' 'i don't wanna do this' 'i don't know who im looking at'. HAHAHA!! i can imagine how i sounded, because i remember clearly i did said all those things.

Oh well, i know i can be a little dramatic sometimes.

When we talked about it yesterday, we seriously laughed our lungs out. 

It was a good laugh. Haven't laughed that hard for i can't remember when. 

A little freaked out moment

Last week, one of my best friend got hitched! It was approximately about 11.45 a.am at the Masjid Wilayah where the akad nikah took place and sah!

At her kenduri persandingan, i was the brides maid. hahaha! Everything went well, except the part where Nadia did not know. I arrived early at the hall, and just as i arrived, her aunts starts pulling me to the sides for a makeup session. I was uncomfortable to be honest, but i was trying as hard as i could to respect the whole event. I thought the make-up i had on was fine, i got freaked when i saw her aunt starts putting so many things on my face! I can tell there were so many colors, because she wasn't stopping, she was putting so many things on my face, and i couldnt see how i looked! I told her 'makcik saya tak nk tebal and banyak sangat kaler', and she acknowledged, she said 'tak tak, ini nautral je semua'. Sorry, but i just don't trust her hand, because she is just smooching every god damn eye shadow on the pallets. I have a BAD BAD feeling. I have another friend, Ainn, accompanying me that day. She asked her 'okay ke?'. She did not answer me. Then once in awhile, i gave her a face to hint her i wanted to know how the make up on my face was, and she gave me back a face. I CHOKED. This mist be bad. 

I don't like thick colored lipstick on my lips. I just like a pinch of color on my lips. That is just how i prefer it. But Nadia aunt's was smooching A LOTT of lipstick on me, then i saw her putting lipgloss pulaakkk! I swear i almost screamed STOP! 

I'm sorry makcik, but i think she was like 'syok sendiri' make-up-ing me. After (i think) she was done, she wanted to do my hair pulaaakk! I just have to refuse this time. Of course, i decline politely. Nevertheless, the makcik sempat nk sikat2 my hair!! 

As i stood up and get ready to ran, all the makcik around there was saying, 'ha,,baru la cantik'. I was a bit suspicious, i mean betul ke cantik makeup dia,, because i feel horrible. Then the  make-up makcik wanted to do more, she was like 'jap2, kena tambah blusher lagi bagi naik pipi'. I decline. I have a horrible feeling i am looking like a clown right now.  

I rushed to the toilet.

I was right. I swear i almost cried and ran out of the hall and just go home. 

I looked like a PONDAN!!!

There were too many colors on my cheeks, my eyes, my lips. Overall, i looked tanned! My lips were like 'sememeh dgn lipstick'. I was horrified, i don't even know who i was looking at the mirror!

Thank god my friend, Ainn was there..........she calmed me down,subsequently, we got rid (tonned down) the make and colors, so that i looked less BAPOK. 

Final result, i swear, this wasn't how i looked like when the makcik make-up me. 

Anyways,, That was new. I had someone make-up me before, but it wasn't like that all. But Nadia looked pretty.

Whatever happens, i love you Nadia! Selamat Pengantin Baru!! 

p/s did not expect you to be married this soon, but that's okay! = )

Something ppl doesn't think

Saying to a skinny person who is naturally skinny, that she should eat, she looks sick because she's too thin, or she looks like she has no flesh has the same effect as saying to a fat person that she is fat, and she should really start to exercise or you won't find any clothes to fit you.

I bet people don't realize that, because they easily say those things to skinny person as if we're okay with it, yet when we say it to a fat person, they say we are being brutally honest. 

Down to Earth.

Ya Allah,

I have never been a good muslim. Time after time i have always repeat and continuously disobey your order. I never learn my lesson, yet i keep and hope that you grant me so many wishes. 

I feel so blessed that after all that i am today, you have continuously grant me so many wishes that i don't even know what i did to deserve it.  

I was sad today by a happy news to another. I believe that it was a result and consequences of my action for disobeying your orders. But suddenly, i received a good news. 

I'm so blessed, that you have given me this good news.

I'm ashamed to even ask more, but Ya Allah, please grant me this wish, and i promise to change. 

Amin.

Hello 2012

This song sums up my 2011.

For 2012, I hope for a better year. 

Pls do listen to the song = )

Random Arguments

One.


Me : Dik, bagi tea o limau panas.
Waiter : Ok.
Me : Tukar la, bagi tea o limau suam.
Waiter : (giggles) Kak, panas & suam sama la.
Me : Aaa. Tak.
Waiter : Sama laa
Me : (fine, just give me tea o limau yang tak sejuk)




Two.


Me : Dik, kalao sup campur ni pedas ke tak?
Waiter : Boleh buat pedas kalao nak.
Me : Ok, bagi saya sup campur satu. Tapi buat pedas. Pedas sikit ja.
Waiter : Buat kurang pedas la..
Me : Saya nak pedas sikit.
Waiter : Kurang pedas laa
Me : ( Fine! im not gonna even argue, just bring me a sup yang ada rasa pedas!)

Who Knows

Dalam hati, sapa yang tahu, kan?

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any seams,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?

Scented

I love to smell nice! I love perfume! Just saying...hehe




Purrrrr....




XOX

Confession of a Shopaholic (not me.duh~)

Just recently, approximately 2 weeks ago, i got eye infection. You know, when your eyes feel discomfort, then it goes red, then after you took off your contact lenses but it still feels like there's something in your eyes, and then you saw a doted red mark on your retina, so you freak out thinking your retina is torn or something, and at that very moment, you storm out of the office and head to the nearest clinic, and the moment you got inside the doctor's room, you say "Dr. there is something seriously wrong with my eyes"? no? Okay, that must be just me! Yes - i freaked out, because its your eyes! It's sensitive and delicate and i was informed that the cells at your eyes doesn't grow like the rest of the cells in your body. So once it's gone, damaged-you will never be the same. Hhmm..that's a little dramatic.

What i wanted to say actually, was right after that particular event, i decided that i should wear less contact lenses and wear spectacles. I had one before, but ii was broken because i accidentally sat or stepped on it (don't remember which), but the end product was that it got broken. So that was when i started wearing contact lenses, which i admit i'm not committed to taking care of it's hygiene, which explains how i got the infection. 

Right. So i went to get a new spectacles. It cost me RM900++. I swiped my credit card of course. Duh! Who has cash for that amount? Not people like me. The last time i bought a spectacles only cost about RM300 (including frame and lenses). I took an oath i will not but anything else until y next paycheck. 

You know, sometimes, there is just that month where you ran out of cash so instantly and that month has come for me. I am really broke. Despite that 900 spectacles (which is on loan), my november salary is almost empty. I meant it like 'really Really REALLY' empty. It's only the 2nd week of December, and my account said i only have 300. And a friend texted me asking if i can loan her a hundred, and i said yes. 

Today, i cashed out 100, and as i roamed at the mall today, suddenly at the perfume section, something stopped me. Like a force. THIS:-

So i happy bought it because i have been waiting for it to be lauched in M'sia and i didn't know that it's already here. My perfume is almost Empty too (just like my bank account = P). If you paid attention and do that maths, please calculate the balance of my account because i cannot bare it look at it.