After reading my previous entries, all of you kind readers would have known by now that my working life haven't been exactly going on so smoothly, till date.
Let me just elaborate on confession-i-stopped-counting.
1. Slow - I would describe my pace like a KTM train. It's getting sad and annoying. Yes, I'm getting annoyed by own self. I sometimes feel like katak di bawah tempurung, because i've been doing habeas corpus for more than two years, and then i jumped into a different area, and it is overwhelming the amount of legal knowledge i do not know.
2. Stupid - Well, this kindda goes with the first. When you're slow, you feel stupid. I can't believe i have to deal with this two words!
3. Pathetic - Well, fine, this relates to the above also. I don't feel good about myself because im not proud of my progress. I don't think i've achieve anything yet! I try to think that there must be something good i've learnt these past 2 months, ......... either im being negative or i just can't figure it out.
4. Useless - Once again, either im being negative here, but i feel like im a waste of ppl's time and money.
5. Embarrassed -When you don't know much, you dont do yourself any good and you say or do things which you're not proud of. I can give justifications why it should be my fault entirely, but admit it, in the legal world and life, there is just no excuse.
6. Sober - Sober means Sad. I don't have to elaborate on that.
So why is this entry title 'down memory lane' again? Last friday, as i was just disappointed with the outcome of the meeting i had in shah alam with my boss, which im sure my boss must think im a total idiot (whatever). The guy which i arranged the meeting and was supposedly to meet, had just tendered his 24 hours resignation. I don't know what happen or how my boss found another officer in charge there (as i arrive late because i was lost.crap!), so they couldnt provide many information to help with the case. So i conclude the meeting as pointless.
Back to the story, pointless meeting ended at 5, as i drove back home, it was only 530. Too early to go home. I didn't even want to go home yet. Wanted to talk to someone and tell them how stupid the day was. Thinking about meeting my good friend Hani, but i don't think it would be such a good idea because im sure she is sick of hearing my stories. So i decided to stop by my old office.
When i saw some of the habeas corpus files, i think to myself God!habeas corpus is faarrr waaaayy easier than what im doing now, not that i want to go back there. Just saying the truth.
Some things still doesnt change there i guess, but if there is one thing i miss about that place is having people to talk to and being a happy person. Im not a sad person. I think people who know me would know that. I was known for being a cheerful person at that place. Now, it's not that im not happy. I just couldnt be that happy person, for reason said earlier.
I don't know exactly how to end this, so im going to stop now.
p/s: If i were brave enough i would say im sorry, but my ego said no.
