Dream marathon. It happens?

So i was anticipating these few weeks getting a cat...had asked around...some deals turns down. Some ain't responding. hah! It's complicated getting cat. Could it be because i don't want just any cat. I want a really cute cat, at least mix persian, and i prefer a grey one. Because they look really cute in grey, and by the way, i already (i mean, i had) a white and yellow ones before, so I wanted a different cat.

It didn't bothers me that i wasn't getting through any dealing of cat with the seller. Well, only the fact that it was on my mind the whole time.

But why would i dream of a cat that had its claws on me really deep every time i try to touch it. You know how dreams just seem so real,,,sometime you can also feel it (think you feel it). When i dreamt of it last night, think i almost scream in pain. The freaking cat (i don't know if it was my cat, or someone else's cat that i was holding,,but i'm damn sure its a cat!) had it claws on my me!it went right into my skin, and i can almost imagine how it hurts.

Okay..so what is that!a sign?a sign that i should not get a cat?that's absurd,,so what if it's gonna cost me some cold hard cash maintaining and taking care of it. I can do it. I have the resources now. That's was really scary though..i love cats but i sure don;t want it's claws on me. And when i have one, i sure don;t want to cut their claws,,they need it. Poor kitten without claws.

I cannot relate to this one. Was getting in a roller coaster, with my sister (Najla). And they forgot to put on our seat belt. What??it was awfully scary when the rollercoaster started to move, didnt know why i didn't get off. Argh!enough with this non-sense dream. Next.

How about this one. Still at the same night.

I'm not sure where i was,,but it looks like somewhere in Europe, Paris maybe. haha. It was also weirder that i was in some sort of vacation or holiday only with my younger sister with me?aiyaya..why would she be there?don't have a clue. And i have a slight feeling like that the get-away was actually kept secret from my parents. Even weirder. I didn't do anything wrong lately that i wouldn't want my parents to know.mmm..

Okay..so now the real drama. Somehow i find my self in an Indian restaurant...like kedai mamak lah. But i was with my family. And there was a brake dance happening there. WTH!!The brake dance was very bizarre really. I don't even know how to say it. The mamak was brake dancing and everyone seemed to be amused by it. And was it my dad?He went and joined it?This is really crazy! Next, i find myself in a lift,,,getting back from the mamak stall and to my hotel. Now alone. And a cute guy came into the lift. Somehow i just knew that he was from the opposite hotel. Oh i forgot to tell, that before i enter into the lift, there was couple dressed in somewhat i dont't remember costume, because its halloween. And they asked me, so what part are you playing. And i was only wearing jeans, cardigans...and spare you guys the details of i am ONLY wearing. Getting back to the cute guy in the lift with me,,,hahaha...omg i don't know what kind of singal this is conveying. Can i say the rest is history,,as if you all know what happen between us.

What i can say out of these dreams that i had in one night is that, it was a tiring week. And my mind needed a break...Oh..just remembered that i wanted to go for a late night movie, but don't think my mum would allow me to. So there you have it. My movie. As i have always been saying before, most of my dreams don't make sense. It's just random thoughts that turns into a dramatic crazy WTH dreams. Hidden message maybe? mm...maybe...don't wanna think to hard about it.

= )

You're acting like a jealous girlfriend

That is what a friend of mine, a guy told me when i told him 'the story'.

The story that it sometimes annoys me when this person whom i don't know what kind of relationship were're actually having...sometimes can just go off into silent whenever he feels like it, and the shows up whenever he feels he wants to...and he perfectly have a reasonble good reason to do so. Like example for once, i asked him why he didn't reply my text that morning and he answered because he was in the training class and he was sitting right in front. What am i suppose to say?It's a good reason!And once again what right do i have to asked him anything, when there is nothing officially going on between us.Yeah...the story goes on and on...and my friend said i should take is easy and slow down, because i'm acting like a jealous girlfriend when i'm not his gf. Ouch!

Try listening to this song by Brandy- Have you ever and appriciate the lyrics. It's almost sad and something which i relate to. Imagine that you like and care for someone so much, only that the other person does not feel the same way, or at least not show it. Ouch again!

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?

Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand?
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away?
You'd give anything
To make them feel the same?
Have you ever searched for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start?

(Repeat chorus)

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life?
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes?
Have you fin'ly found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you?
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait
For that day when they will care?

(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge:)
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me?
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause, baby, I can't sleep

(Repeat chorus twice)

Have you ever?

This is one of my all time favourite song. And my justification for so-called acting like a jealous girlfriend. I Am not. I just feel that you can't just disspaear from me and act like i dont exist, and suddently show up just because i am there. I want to be there. Maybe it's too early. Or maybe it's a sign that its not meant to be. I'm torn. = (

I'm sorry, i don't like writing all this emotional thing. But i can't help it. These days, it is one of major problems and dilemmas.sighs to that.

Silence means troubles.

When someone dissapaers for some time, or when two peole sit together not talking...means there's something very negative going on.

That's me.

Been dissapearing from my online world. Well,,one reason is because my laptop is damned messed up. Second reason, i thought its because all those little thoughs that's troubling me are just the normal effects of a girl trying to make in the real world feeling. But turns up as i am beginning to realise, its getting under my skin. It came to the point where i asked myself "have i made the wrong decision". Not a very good sign is it. Also considering, maybe i should quit and start what i have always wanted to do in the first place.

At the next page of my life come that relationship with friends and people we care about. With my sister being married now, it sometimes feel like ai'm losing a sister. I know i'm not losing her, she is still my sister for goodness sake. but lets face it. Its gonna be different and its something i have to get used to. Be alright eventually. And me with this person, i donno where the relationship is heading. Some nights ago i was upset over something we said. And i used "we" because it's just not his or my fault. Its just the situation. The situation that in his world nobody knows i exist. But whose to blame? And what rights do i have to blame him for that. Because me and him. We're actually nothing.


And that is it.

Patient my friend.

Last week there was a blood test at my office, and after 23 years of being alive, i finally found that my blood type is B+! And i got a question, can ones blood type change?Because one of the senior lawyer there said he was B+ when he last tested, then suddently on that day they found that he was blood type O.

Is it wrong to be jealous?

My answer is NO, its not. Isn't that a good sign that means that when we are jealous, we want to get better than that person, we have the rush to improve ourself. We have a mission to be accomplish! But okay,,,this jealousy will depends on the subject matter. So i am a bit jealous of my friend, because she seem to be advancing more than me in terms of work...which is good thing for her. Dont get me wrong, she got a good thing going for her. It's just that i wish i was advancing like her or even better. Gosh, i donno, maybe he's right,,i just have to be patient. I guess eventually i will get it, so i just have to be a bit patient and be positive about it.

Talking about positivity. Some nature of work arekilling me.

1. Advisory.

Reason: Because to get started i have to know the law, and trust me, there are laws & regulations that i've never come across before nor was ever thought in law school. So what do you do, go to the library and get the real documents...that isnt so bad, only that there is only two photocopy machine, so you got to wait for your turn, and just wasted some precious amount of time. Now that the law is with you, READ it!The ones i got was something to do with RELA and Civil Defence..thank god they were only like 3/4 pages. Then comes the toughest part, because once i started reading it, its like...yaaaawwwnnn!!and i have to force myself to read it, read it,,,and i started to get real fed up because it was just making me sleepy, CLOSE it..and move on to other things. Then, sometimes during the week you open it up again and finally get the hang of it, but after consultation, you realise there's more issues!So, more reading, more consultations and then the part where i'm starting to like it,,,giving advice, though i start to wonder...betul ke ape aku buat ni?And that is why you have to consult your boss for approval.Hehe..

2. Vet a contract(s)

Oohooo...this is like so much fun (complete opposite). Have to read the whole documents which basically all of them says pretty much the same thing...and as i flip through the pages of each contracts, i realise that i no longer understands what i'm reading, but are just reading words which makes no sense to me....and so i stopped! Gatherred all my strength again!hah! and started reading it again. Its a process of suffering which requires a huge amount of patients. And when its finally done. I dont even want to look at it again. what's done is done! Get it out of my sight!

The whole week was ups and downs, there was a day when everything was going so wrong...there was also a moment that i was so pissed at something which eventually when i face it, it was actually nothing to get so upset about.huh.But it ended well. So i'm glad everything was solved.

I dont know how to end this..but i'm tired now.

Next posting coming very soon bout my next mission to adopt kittens!

taa~

Thought of the day.

Over what happen today at work...it got me thinking this

• What are we? - refering to my r/ship with me and him.
• Will that affect me? - this was over something that happen at work today.
• What will happen tomorrow? - also over something at work, with my boss, wonder how will he react.

When i got home and think about it, i think to myself...Ah..what the heck la..if it was me, i won't give a damn (but then again, not all people are like me). But still, if it will, then you know what, so what...i can make it somewhere else.

*i do think i am making a big deal out of this, but we'll see how it turns our tomorrow...as for now, my advice to myself is

GET OVER IT!

First Week @ Work...

I finally realise..well i mean i know it how its gonna be before, i anticipated it..but now, i am finally experience it:That working life is more than just what u've learn in school people!

Started with going to meeting alone at a meeting which i have no idea, and was suddently assigned to go to it ALONE.the meeting :pengurusan kewangan.sighs~The food they served at meetings are amazingly good!kalo mcm ni,boleh la sll pegi.haha!

The workloads that i got...oh my...i didnt know how to even get started.I had to this memo to different agencies and letters. Took some time to figure out what i had to go. Took a lot of asking around from my bosses and the staff there. Finally manage to get some done! And currently now i'm a little stuck with doing this representasi thing...have to do two of these. I have one done, going to show it on monday next week and hope it gets approved!

The highlight of the week is defintly getting this case from my boss!I was eager to get everything  done by friday so that i can get started on it,  but unforntly ade satu lagi keje yg xsiap.Anyways,We (nyda &me) helped him to get the record rayuan at POJ on wednesday, and he asked us to help him on  it!So i am currently reading the 2 volumn record rayuan which is as thick as buku MP Jain..on weekends!haha..guess nothing much has changed since llb..weekends also kene buat keje seh!

That's it for the first week...i got my own room now,and the people at my workplace is super nice. I really feel comfortable there. My bossess are very supportive, and so are the senior lawyers there and the staff as well.Hope to learn as much and as fast as i can here.

With all the chaos of getting used to work life and all..i'm sure so are my friends at HQ and at other agencies.And my close friend Ida got a news that she has to go work in Terengganu.So sad she's leaving!we were just making plans about going to see each other for berbuka nnt.oh well..that life...hope she'll be fine there.Lots love Ida!!!I miss ya!!

Why is everybody so happy?

With the result out...everybody seems to be so happy.

I should be happy too right?i mean, what's not to like....pass all the subjects.My result ain't that bad, only that it wasn't as what i expected it to be. Hah!Like that is a surpirse now a days..my instict always failed me.Seriously who am i trying to kidd here. I know exactly why i am a little bit upset. 

Ok,i should be happy!At least try, lets not spoil the moment will ya ilyana!At least pretend to be. I'm good at that.

Like a message someone posted on facebook. Destressed!

Got more than a job.

I am not happy about the interview....i will not elaborate further on this here. But i am glad that i got the job. I also got to met many familiar faces there...saw some of my assasians friends from other universities applying for the job under 'colas'. Also met my lecturer which was very nice. He is still such a a nice person.

And boy did i get more than a job today. As i was waiting at the kafe after the interview had finish, got a call from an unknown number. I already suspected that this must be somebody from the interview. And i was right. Ade pulak staff2 tadi yg nk berkenalan...omg..sempat pulak la diorg nk main2 amik nombor.ishk.seriously not interested.

If there is one thing that people need to know about me. Well. I DO NOT LIKE UNKNOWN NUMBER IN MY PHONE FROM UNKNOWN PERSON. Seriously, this old school style of getting someone's phone number without their permission with the hope that some sparks might be there...please..i don't buy it.

And now i think he's stalking me too (stalking is not the right term but i like to call someone a stalker when they dont stop calling me..haha). Some people just do not know how to read the signs dont' they...if i dont answer your calls ...then read the signs dude--->not interested!

When shopping .....

So today I went shopping with my parents and my younger sister. My dad didn't know where to go actually, so he asked where i would like to go. His exact words were..."nana nk pegi mana?klcc?midvalley?piramid?atau OU". We eventually went to One Utama based on my so-very-logical answer that since my parents never went to OU before, so why not go there, when honestly i didn't like sunway pyramid very much, and klcc & mid is so blah~ (dah selalu sangat pegi). I know my sister wanted to go KLCC because she wanted to go to that bookstore, but com'on OU pon ade bookstore ape. She didnt seem to mind about it in the car, but i guess she probably didnt know that i read her blog....and she said something like at first she was kindda upset that i persuaded my dad not to go to klcc...BUT at the end of she wrote that it was fun. Haha. Of course! When you go shopping with me, it is always going to be FUN. 

My dad said that he was going to for a window shopping only. I've heard that before. My dad is quite a spender himself. He always says he's not going to buy anything, which he ends up buying at the end. His favourite departmental store is no other than Marks & Spencer. In fact he specifically asked me to find out where got Marks&Spencer other than in klcc. 

And as usual when i went shopping at any mall in kl with my parents, i always am the tour guide.

First, we were in Parkson, bought some kitchen stuff. As my dad was waiting at the cashier...there were a lot of people in line...and there was so many counter, but they only open one.how convenience!My dad was really mad, he got really angry at the cashier boy on how stupid the management of the store is. I agree with him. It's Sunday. Parkson is on Sale. There are a lot of people. Then why the hell are they opening only one freaking counter. By this time, think everybody there was looking trying to see what was going on. And trust me, you dont wanna see my dad get angry. I felt sorry for the cashier boy as it is not entirely his fault, the manager of the store was nowhere to be seen...but i guess he probably heard it and ordered someone to opened up one more counter because a minute later, one young lady came over and took over another counter. And the line was quickly cleared. Thanks to my dad. = )

Next stop. Marks&Spencer.nothing interest me there.why?because none of the clothes have my size. So i just wondered off by myself, while my parents went along with their shopping there.

Then, freaking hungry. Didnt know where to eat. I know there is a lot of restaurant and cool cafes to eat there, but my dad has as particular food that he can't eat as he is watching his health. So we went to the food court, which is like sooo faaarr. Maybe because i am hungry. The mall is so huge and i didnt know where the food court was exactly, but i manage to find it without getting sesat. I am a good tourist guide.hehehe....

Next, we went to find my sister her shoes. She wanted to but shoes to wear for my sister's wedding in September. Lame lagi..awalnye nk beli..ok,whatever..not really my problem. I guess it's typical girls~susahnye nk cari kasut yang die berkenan. We even stopped at Elle. And i my god there were really lots of fun/cute shoes there...i am surprise that i did not buy them.....as there were on SALE...my mum was constantly asking if i was sure i didnt want it....well,its because i already have one....dh ade kasut nk pakai untuk wedding kaklong nanti.tension jee~kalo tak boleh je beli. Plus i am on a strict probation period where i will no longer buy any shoes/sandles/flipflops etc..until i really need it.So until then, i pass.

Anyways, my sister found her shoes. So huraay. She also stopped at MPH and bought a book. So she's only happy kid.

And durian ice-cream never tasted soo good.

My dad was caught by this salesperson who promoted to him iron-stim...iron jenis yang xyah gosok atas iron board tu..like you just pass it by on the kain,then die trus hilang kedut. OK, kat rumah dh banyak iron actually...tapi my dad mmg suka layan salesperson. And he will buy it. And he did. 

Before we all got really tired and tak larat nk jalan dah, i had to make a stop at the perfume shop to buy myself a perfume. Paris Hilton.Thank god ade sale 15%..save!

So on my shopping list, there is one morething to buy. And one more thing, that i dont really need...but i do make sure dulu mase zaman study that every semester i will give my hair a treat at the salon = ))

Its going to be a long week.

Yesterday he left for London on a vacation with his family. He's going away for more than a week. I'm glad he's away for his gate-away rest, because like all working people, he worked his ass off. Even for me (nor yet working.heh) just staying here at home drives me crazy sometimes with nothing to do. And yes, it would be really nice to go see another country. Its a different feeling. 

Part of me on the other hand is a little bit sad. I have noone to talk to me when i'm bored anymore. I'm gonna go out in awhile to see ya (Nadia), my beloved roomates and ex-interns in Jalan Duta High Court. I love her. We make a great team. We're both crazy and sometimes a little bit over reacting for little things that does not really matters. She's a fun person but underneath that i believe that there is a brave spirit and confidence, yet still able to maintain its subtleness.

We're going to go catch a movie. I have been going for movies quite often these days. Maybe i'll write about it when i come back.

It's sale everywhere now, so i thought that maybe i could just go do a little 'necessary shopping'. Do what a girl got to do. Let's see. I need perfumes (must have that when i go to work later, its like a morning spa) and i also need a a new suit.Thats gonna burn not less than 400 of my cash.Yikes~Just so you know i am saving some of my scholarship money for my expenses during my first month at work.Sighs.

We'll guess going to do a little bargain search later. 

And i have to prepare for my interview this friday.I so do not like interviews anymore.It stick to my head. All the preparation and then at the end of the day none of what i've prepared is asked.All i want to know is 'do you want me OR not'???

Just now..one firm called for an interview tommorrow.seriously, not less than 24 hours notice. I asked them to reschedule it next week. i already have AG's interview to think about.One by one people....be patients ok.Hehe.

Good Day everyone = )

Reborn

Its been like...gosh..i dont even know for how many months..probably almost a year since my last post. I even thought about abandoning my blog....or make a new want..but then that would take a lot of time..ahahaha...you know what i mean..with all the backrounds..title..what to write and all tha stuff. So i'll just continue with this : )

The last time i wrote, i was just starting my L.L.B Hons..and now..WALA!i'm almost at the end. I am at the end.Ending..Soon.

And its just really weird how times goes by so fast without even realizing it. I still remember when i was at DSB registering for L.L.B..and they gave me this list of name with grioups.I have no idea what all that is for. And senior partner?what is that?i only came to know..when Hani came up to me and said..Yana ko senior partner? And i was like..what is that?how do you know?Duh!ade kat dalam list name tu la ilyana salleh.hehehe.

And the list of people in my group, there were 5 of us. Its just realy amazing how we get along and got to know each other. I remeber CK, i knew her since Asasi for about 4 years, yet i never spoke to her until we were brought together in L.L.B.And all the others in my firm as well, it was only like a Hi-Bye conversation.So its defintly just amazing how i was brought out of my comfort zone getting used to be with poeple whom i know. 

Coming to L.L.B, i know it was not going to be easy. I know there were a lot of subjects to cope up. Assignment. Everyday. Lastnights.It was excatly what i expected it to be honestly, including how much i was going to enjoy it. 

Becoming a senior partner,it's not even a real one.Ilyana&Partners?its not even a real firm. But it has no doubt tought me a lot. Being a leader, oh the surface, people say that its really is not that difficult. After all all the work are done as a firm/group. But its not like that. Trust me.All senior partners of L.L.BHOns Uitm will agree. We do twice the work. We suffer twice the emotional. We worry twice.I never asked to be appointed as one,,none of us.For me, its a great opportunity for me. I enjoy being an SP.Well...there were times when i am greatly unsatisfied with some of the firmates, and sometimes i think to myself..why do i have to do all this editing and compiling and worrying!But its only temporary.thinking about it, i cannot imagine myself being in llb without being an SP.its just all part of a learning process and experience that i would not trade for anything. 

I will defintly miss my office, the place where i spend most of my precious time. The people there.It was there where i think my real life as a  law student begin. 

Double joy

My final result just came out yesterday...no surprise,i passed all.iIm not bragging or anything, its just that the day before i got an offer to persue my LLB(Hons), so obviously i perdicted that i passed all my subject.

Now i have two things to be happy with, my result...so it wasn't as good as my last semester (which i manage successfully to get a deans list), but well,its been a tough semester, its almost impossible, although i still had some glips of hope that i will get a deans list again.Nevertheless, it wasn't that bad, just drop a couple of 0.3 of my cgpa.Making it,,i will be graduating at 3.27. Then i am guaranteed for next semester programme...so that should be...err...scary a lil..maybe a lot..but better than not getting one.

So yey!!and i will be leaving for australia on wednesday : ))

There's "a begining" and "an end"

Its hard to believe that finally after 5 years of going through a courtship of studies in the university, i finally manage to complete the course, and glad to say without any extention (you know what i mean right). So the semester final result is not out yet, some say to be in particular Mr.Nazim.... '....don't get too excited because we're not guarantee to graduate yet...'.First, i don't know what is he's problem that he has to crush everyones hopes on our last day in the faculty. Anyways, despite his bitter words i think most of us will graduate this year : )) To think about it, it seemed to me like it wasn't that long ago that my friends and i were complaining when we were in our first semester on how many more semester we had to go through. And suddently..TADA! Here we are at that moment.

If anyone had asked me about my ambition, there is not a chance that i would ever think i will one day persue law as my destiny. Growing up, i had never wanted to be a lawyer. And yet, it was the only course offered to me, so i didn't really have a choice do i?But i believe everything happens for a reason, and glad it worked out for me.i have no trouble adapting it and i enjoyed it. So there was frustration and tears along the way,but that's all part and parcel of the study world. and of course, life. I take it all as a challenge,choose to stay positive.Life wouldn't be fun without all those.

i'm going to miss some of my friends who i know will not be seeing in the LLB(Hons) in July (if i get an offer) and the study enviroment then will be a lot different,i doubt there will be any laid-back studies and free times. Probably be loads of stress and dark-eye bag.Anways,we'll see how that will turn out. As for now,i'm just going to enjoy my holidays..and yes,hope for the best for my final result which will be out next week.

Until then...TAA~!