Sunday, October 31, 2010

A year has officially gone by...

A short note.....it has been officially a year without you. I don't think i can write another long paragraphs after paragraphs of you. I know you're doing great right now. Please continue to do so.


Last,


I dedicate this blog to you. Because you were the one who initially initiate me to start one.




My last goodbye.
 - ilyana


*this is my 99th post...i think i'm going to celebrate my 100th post. how about a small party with gfs this weekend? = )

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Another two

One


I'm going to just type this and express my deepest upset, that some people just don't have the curtesy of calling and informing. I'm human too, i can understand if suddently you are unable to help me out because you have some urgent matters to do too, BUT pls have the curtesy of informing me FIRST. Because then, i can make the necessary arrangment to do it myself. I can even skip one of the workshop session if i have to. itu dah mmg keja aku pon, so if desperate calls for desperate measures, i'll do what it takes to get it done. But because you initally said you could help me out, so when u decided u are unable to do so, don't you think it is only logical that you tell me? But of course you didn't, instead you kept quite and you pass it around to other people. And i was known when that person gave me a call asking me why is that file on her table and she has to do it. Thankfully she gave me call,,,what if she didn't and she decided to leave it there until i came back?..

So dear that person, i am seriously upset over you. Well you're probably know you've done something wrong too because you didnt pick up my phone huh. Well im coming to the office tomorrow, you better wish my mood is okay, because i am going to say it to you in your face. In case you forgot, when you were away for your khusus, i took over one of your work. I didnt even ask you anything in repay. I never intent to. Now, even a phone call you can't do for me?

Now i know you.

You'll see one day...

***********************************

TWO

I meet a hot guy in this workshop i'm in. Reaally hot in my definition.
I like him.
I want him.
hahahaha!!!
4 days with him...aarghh...i can't concentrate!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Im not like you.

I think one day when i have the time (i wonder when that will be. sighs~), i will write about my profession and shut all the mouths and thoughts, that it is not an option for people like me to not come to work on weekends. I don't simply come to work on a precious Saturday and Sunday for leisure. I can't work 9-5 like most people do. I can't come home on time, in fact im chasing time. Time is never enough for us. So im' sorry, but it pissses me off real bad when ppl make comments or pass judgements as if i'm here in the office for fun and what not, and pressuring me to come home on time. I'm sorry, but im not like you, no offence but you're a PTD, our nature of work is not the same. never the same. big margin of difference.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Loosing on own fault

How do you get over your own mistake?

Yesterday, i feel like a dark cloud suddenly decided to over shadow me. You know like those cartoons where everybody's enojoying the sunshine and suddently you're the only one with the dark cloud above your head. I realise that t i did something wrong in one of my files and i did ratified it. I have to appreciate that i did make an effort to re-correct those mistakes. But unfortunately in my profession, it takes another two parties to affirm those corrections.

It is one of those mistakes that could have happen to anyone. And on that unfortunate day, it happened to me, and yea, as expected, the other two parties decided not to affirm my correction. And so it goes down the drain.

I don’t know if you guys understand what i’m trying to say here..i guess i’m just upset with myself. I know everybody makes mistakes, and nobody’s perfect and all....okay, i get that. I still feel that it’s such a miss unfortunate that that silly mistake had to happen, because if it weren’t for those mistakes, something great could have happen.

Fine, so i exaggerate “something great could have happen”. Just that there isn’t like a victory moment recently to feel good about, and i was waiting for it to happen. You know we all need a victory moment to give us a kick in the ass, like a motivation to feel good about our self and our work. And it could have happen to me with this one IF it weren’t for those mistakes. There is a high probability for that. But it didn’t. Plus who can blame them for not accepting my correction. It's their job to object, they want their victory moment too.

Guess i’ll just have to hope that it will happen for the next one.

Do not loose hope girl. Don’t let this pull you down (though it already did).

Nobody’s perfect. Repeat 3 times.
*that’s hard to swallow for now.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Prophecy

Go to Italy to eat, India to Pray and Bali to fall in love.


I just need Italy.

My favourite scene was at the beginning of the movie where Julia and his ex-husband to be was negotiating at the lawyer’s office for their divorce. That was the most heart breaking scene, i felt like dropping a tear. Honestly, it wasn’t really sad but i actually felt them, and by them i meant the husband. I fell his sadness, because i know how it is to love somebody and to watch that relationship shattered without having the chance to know what we have done wrong and not having the chance to ratify it.

I don’t think I am a bias towards the movie for rating it 5/5. Besides the undeniable fact that Julia acting was beyond excellent (as always), at most part of the movie, i could connect to what she is going through.

Though don’t agree with the ending. I am personally not a fan of a movie with happy ending, because i don’t think it is fair that we set aside the broken hearted person. So they are not the main actor/actress in the movie and so they gave up their love for another, BUT what about them? What happen to them in the end? How did they get through that difficult time? Did they find their happy ending too in the end? Doesn’t anybody care?? In Eat. Pray. Love, Julia finally found her happy ending with .....(i can’t remember that Brazillian guy’s name). I can’t see at which point she fell for that guy. It was such a short period to fall in love. I actually hoped that she would go back to her ex-husband, because i truly feel that there was pure love there, except that Julia just needed some time to interact with her inner problem.

Ketut: You will marry twice. One long and one short.
Liz: Am I in the short on or the long one?
Ketut: Can’t tell.


p/s :
You’re such a sweet talker, I wonder if you really meant it? Is this another one of my short fling?
And James Franco is super dreamy plus Hot! I love it!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday - I Forgive You

Apparently last night i did something really unwise. I wouldn't say i fully regret it because after thinking about it awhile, it isn't that bad, but i would say it was unwise. My girlfriends know what i did. So i'll just cut myself some slack on this issue. I forgive you!

Cheese cake was a success! I'll share the recipe soon = )

Below is a lyric from Don't Speak by No Doubt. I just knew what the song is about after looking at the lyrics!

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always

I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know


Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts


Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry


Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts


It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?



don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good

Monday, October 4, 2010

Deja Vu

Suddently on this beautiful Monday morning i have a déjà vu being in the shopping mall. I think it has been quite some time i haven’t spend a inconsiderable amount of time in the mall. Imagine the whole day spend there...First, catch a movie. Then lunch. Then shop a few. Then tea. Oh that’s a good feeling.



Now i’m thinking of applying for leave on Thursday since there isn’t too much work this week. Shockingly i have all my files done. Can i hope for the impossible that there wouldn’t be any new files coming in this week?



If i’m on leave on Thurdays. I could choose between two plans:-



a) Whole day at the mall. Then maybe i could have lunch with a friend at her workplace in Bukit Jalil ( i have no idea how to go there, but i live by the rules redah ja. Always turned out okay so far).



b) Bake a cake.




Speaking of baking, my office is having a potluck for hari raya and i decided to bring my very own home baked cheese cake....although i have never make one before, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to me because at every potluck i always decide to bring something which i have never make. I think of it as an opportunity for me to try make new things. But always have a back up plan, in case it doesn’t work out! Haha! Such a risk...and quoting from an officemate who said “yana, potluck ni bukan untuk try and error”. Adoii...whatever. I need a reason for cooking okay! So potluck is a good excuse . Previously, i made caramel pudding and fruit tart. I should remember to take pictures of desserts i made so far. Haih.



*cheese cake yana? What were you thinking?? Reti ke buat ni... sighs~

Friday, October 1, 2010

Post Raya Pictures.


The one cutting the cake is my sister and the one with the lovely big smile is my sister in-law. Just got hitched with my brother.hehe..and the one sitting down is me! Secara kebetulan we all wore brown.. = )






My bro and my sister...during our official open house.




Friends who were attended...thanks girls!






Next picture!



My dear two dear friends...


For more picture, visit me at facebook okay...but Ops, only if you're a friend. No heart feeling. = )